Piranha 3D (2010)


Piranha was one of the better Jaws ripoffs, even if the sequel was nothing to write home about.  The two movies launched the careers of Joe Dante and James Cameron, respectively, although the latter pretty much got fired from Piranha II: The Spawning early on.  The first movie became a cult hit, with its tale of mutated killer fish and a decent massacre sequence.  Still, there wasn't really much call for further sequels.

Piranha 3D isn't as much a sequel as it is a riff on the first two movies.  Other than killer fish it has no connection with the other films, even when it comes to plot, and although there are tongue-in-cheek references to the other films we get others to Jaws and Orca as well.  The two biggest surprises are that Piranha 3D made it to theaters without the MPAA skeletonizing it and that the movie is, despite all expectations, quite good. 

Jake Forester (Steven R. McQueen) is the son of the local sheriff Julie Forester (Elisabeth Shue).  It's spring break in their town of Lake Victoria, Arizona and Jake would like to go have some fun.  However, he is stuck babysitting his siblings Laura (Brooklynn Proulx) and Zane (Sage Ryan).  Still, the lure of some fun is hard to ignore, so while his mother is off dealing with spring breakers he pays the young ones to lie and say that he was with them for the day.  Where he is really heading off to is a boat with pornographer Derrick (Jerry O'Connell) and two beautiful women, Crystal (Riley Steele) and Danni (Kelly Brook).  As luck would have it the girl he has a crush on, Kelly (Jessica Szohr), ends up on the boat as well, where Jake is supposed to show Derrick where to film.

Unfortunately, things aren't going too well, as a local fisherman (Richard Dreyfuss) turns up dead and Sheriff Forester has to spend the day guiding seismologists researching a recent tremor.  It turns out that the small quake opened up a passage to an underwater lake, and the cavern that had been sealed off for millennia happens to be inhabited by prehistoric piranha who have now spread out to the rest of the lake to feed.  With surviving geologist Novak (Adam Scott) the sheriff rallies her men to get everyone out of the water but, as usual, the party must go on.  Meanwhile, Jake and Kelly become stranded with an increasingly unstable Derrick as the threat reaches them as well. 

Piranha 3D has two things in abundance, and that is nudity and blood.  Director Alexandre Aja cast a number of adult film stars due to the large amount of topless and full-frontal scenes that were needed, often combined with some of the best kills.  There is also a beautifully shot nude swim and make-out scene with Steele and Brook before much of the main action begins.  Jerry O'Connell plays a character pretty much based on Joe Francis of Girls Gone Wild fame who also sued the production for character assassination. 

The centerpiece of this movie, however, is the massacre scene.  All Jaws imitators need one big set piece, and the original Piranha did what it could with its budget and the limitations of the time.  It also lets Greg Nicotero shine, with a combination of CGI and practical effects.  The latter look great, and there are too many great scenes to mention, from a woman getting her face pulled off, a cable slicing a cheerleader in half and another woman literally falling apart on the beach.  The scenes on the beach afterward recall modern war movies.

For the most part, though, Piranha 3D doesn't take itself seriously, and that's probably how it escaped with an R rating untouched. The cameos by Christopher Lloyd and Richard Dreyfuss, Jerry O'Connell's overacting and, at one point, piranhas fighting over a severed penis make this all quite clear.  Rather than being offensive it's quite fun, even with some of the worst examples of music from the time period and too many shots of the Biff and Muffy crowd making it clear that I never missed anything by not going to Lake Havasu (where this was filmed) or elsewhere for the "festivities" while in college.  

Piranha 3D (2010)
Time: 88 minutes
Starring: Steven R. McQueen, Elisabeth Shue, Jessica Szohr, Jerry O'Connell, Kelly Brook, Riley Steele
Director: Alexandre Aja

 

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