Posts

Tusk (2014)

Image
One of the classic Ren and Stimpy episodes, from the first season before they fired John Kricfalusi, is where the pair get a job as rubber nipple salesmen.  At one point they knock on the door of a talking horse who is dressed in rubber from the waist down, who states he doesn't have a use for rubber nipples, but wonders if they have any rubber walrus protectors.  He produces said walrus, who then begs them to call the police.

This is a movie for anyone who ever wanted to know what was going on behind the scenes.

Wallace Bryton (Justin Long) has a successful podcast with his friend Teddy (Haley Joel Osment) called the Not See Party.  Their idea is something along the line of the two describing things to each other for a funny result, as the other can not see what is happening.  One of the things that comes up is a boy from Winnipeg they dub the "Kill Bill Kid", as he sends them a video of him playing with a katana and accidentally cutting off his own leg.  Intrigued, Wa…

Dracula's Dog (1977)

Image
Somehow we never got Dracula's Wet Nurse or Dracula's 8th Grade Lunch Lady, but we at least got a vampire's best friend with Dracula's Dog.  If you are unfamiliar with this particular familiar, then you may have encountered t his at sometime in the past as Zoltan,.. Hound of Dracula.  It is quite low budget, but manages to still be a decent drive-in flick.

Russian soldiers are excavating an area in Romania and end up uncovering a tomb with a number of Draculas in it.  Turns out the whole family had a habit of becoming vampires at one point or another, and the last one (Michael Pataki) managed to acquire a large doberman owned by a man named Veidt Smith (Reggie Nalder).  He also ends up acquiring Smith as his servant.

A guard (Tom Gerrard) left to guard the tomb is awakened by a rumbling that expels one of the coffins.  Curious, he opens it and finds a stake driven through the body inside.  Removing it brings Zoltan back to life.  The god quickly kills the guard and re…

The Revenge of Dr. X (1970)

Image
There are those that save up every cent in pursuit of their dreams.  They max out their credit cards to make a movie.  They go door to door trying to get investors.  The movie that they want to make, even if it is only one, has been floating around in their brain for years.  It has to come out.  It is a matter of life or death that this film see the light of day.

And, then, there are those who just really couldn't care about what they're making.  They somehow stumbled upon a few unused reels of film, put it in a camera, hired a couple people and pointed the camera at them.  At that point they might as well have just left to go home, pop open a bottle of sangria and call it a day.

The Revenge of Dr. X, also known as The Venus Flytrap and The Devil Garden (just so you are forewarned if you run into those titles) is definitely the latter.

Dr. Bragan (James Craig) is a NASA scientist who is starting to show signs of getting overworked.  His assistant Dr. Nakamura (James Yagi) sugg…

Split (2016)

Image
I was reluctant to see Split for a number of reasons.  Of course, one of those was that it is an M. Night Shyamalan film.  He had gone from the one of the best new talents to a joke on the level of Uwe Bohl within a decade.  Still, even though I didn't think it was a great film, with The Visithe at least started making an attempt to return to making movies that were enjoyable to watch and not completely in service of a twist ending.

Besides Shyamalan, there was the plot.  I have seen so many movies where it turned out that the shock ending was simply the good guy and the bad guy were the same person.  And, every single time, they refer to it as schizophrenia.  Every time they are wrong (dissociative identity disorder is not schizophrenia or even near it), and they do the schizophrenic community a disservice by making them all look like they are about to switch to their serial killer identity at any point and try to boil their kids alive.  Where there is so much talk right now abo…

Get Out (2017)

Image
I am going to say right from the beginning that I am going to largely be avoiding jumping into a lot of what this movie has to say about race.  I know it's an important component of the movie itself, but it is not subtext; it is right there on the surface.  There is subtext, I am sure, that I have missed, simply because of a certain obvious reason.  Suffice it to say this movie had enough to it, and successfully presented it, in a way that there are now college courses focusing on the Black experience through horror films.  After this paragraph, I will leave all that to people who actually know what they're talking about.

What I know about, after all these years, is what makes a great horror movie.  Also, what makes a great director of horror movies.  I have also been frustrated in recent years that, just like many of my favorite musicians, my favorite directors are getting older, many retiring from the business or passing away.  Unlike most of the music I like, where I under…

Final Destination 5 (2011)

Image
Some horror series manage to wear out their welcome rather quickly.  Still, you would think that a concept of having an invisible force that embodies death trying to right reality by killing off those who should have died in increasingly gruesome manners would have been something that would have sparked years of creativity.  There would be some especially high hopes since Final Destinationwas based on a script for an X-Files episode that was rejected.

Truth is, the first movie doesn't really live up to the promise of the concept, but Final Destination 2surprisingly did.  It seemed the key, strangely enough, was not to take the concept as seriously as one would like to.  Instead, going over the top with some of the gore to the point of hilarity, while still making a decent film with characters you don't want to see die, seemed to be a perfect fit.  Unfortunately, this was conveniently forgotten for Final Destination 3and The Final Destination.  Still the same directors for the…

The Final Destination (2009)

Image
If there was one series that had some promise to it early on it was Final Destination, even if it didn't really fulfill its promise until the second movie.  Unfortunately, Final Destination 3abandoned everything that was good about the second part.  Still, it continued to sell tickets, even if 2000s horror proved to be about as awful as the music that often accompanied it on the soundtrack.

I would definitely not say The Final Destination, the film that was originally meant to end the series, is a great film (or horror film) by any stretch of the imagination, but at least it does wipe away some of the bad taste of the third movie.

It's a day at the races with Nick (Bobby Campo) and his girlfriend Lori (Shantel VanSanten), their annoying friend Hunt (Nick Zano) and his on again/off again girlfriend Janet (Haley Webb).  This time it is Nick that sees the death of everyone around him in a hail of flying car parts, collapsing concrete and fire.  He panics, drags his friends out, …