Expelled Grey Matter

We have all fantasized about being able to make a wish and how it would change our lives if they really did come true.  Besides the obvious of trying to find loopholes by wishing for infinite wishes I am sure that, as in most things, the wishes would come down to love or money.  However, despite being willing to talk about almost anything to a million strangers on the internet, most people today won't sit down and have simple conversations with the people close to them.  It's a recipe for disaster and, when a poorly worded wish is thrown in the mix, it makes for one of the more creative horror movies in recent memory. Bear (Michael Johnston) works in a music store and is in love with his friend and coworker Nikki (Inde Navarrette).  Problem is he is afraid to reveal his feelings for her as she has never indicated specifically that she likes him.  After rejecting a litany of bad advice from his best friend Ian (Cooper Tomlinson) Bear decides to keep quiet as usua...

Director Anthony Waller, if famous for anything, is known for directing one of the most worthless and embarrassing sequels ever: An American Werewolf in Paris .  In some ways it's a shot-by-shot retelling of John Landis's classic horror comedy An American Werewolf in London , only changing it to Paris and using crappy CGI rather than state-of-the-art practical effects.   What got him the chance to direct what a major studio mistakenly thought was a sequel people were asking for - despite the original movie not ever calling for one - was a low-budget film he made in Moscow not long after the fall of the Soviet Union.  This was during the time of Boris Yeltsin and a period of extreme social upheaval in Russia where the country was almost lawless and, in some respects, run by organized crime.  It was also a brief time period when the country was becoming more open and welcoming to the West and, like a number of other former Eastern Bloc countries, presented cheaper...

Pet Sematary was the first novel I read by Stephen King.  I did re-read it later in life and realized just how pulpy it was compared to many of his previous stories and definitely the later dark fantasy and straight literary efforts.  It put my initial dislike of 1989's film adaptation   in perspective.  After seeing it again within the last couple of years I still don't find it to be a great film, but I can't fault it for being a campy b-movie when I take the source material into consideration. Pet Sematary did take some liberties with the original story, but it managed to make an effort to present the story as it was written.  That was what I expected the 2019 movie would do, possibly integrating some things that were left out while giving us a bland, color-washed, CGI-filled bore fest that would make me appreciate the original even more.  In some ways that is what it delivered but, to their detriment, directors Kevin Kölsch and Dennis Widmyer, along wit...

For all the franchises like Hellraiser or Leprechaun that overstayed their welcome there are those that never got a fair shake.  The original Hellboy  was an okay movie.  It had a lot of imagination and heart, in large part due to Guillermo del Toro's involvement and Ron Pearlman's love of the source material, but it was far from del Toro's best film.  It also didn't do as well at the box office as the studio had intended so, even though a sequel had been greenlit, it took four years for Hellboy II: The Golden Army to reach theaters.   During that time Universal picked it up and CGI got better, although this still used plenty of practical effects.  Also, like many great superhero sequels, the second movie is not burdened with an origin story.  That was taken care of in the original which allows for Hellboy II to concentrate on worldbuilding and an interesting story.  It also allowed del Toro a bit more freedom to do the film his way even if t...

Abbott and Costello Meet the Mummy was the last movie the duo made with Universal and the next-to-last feature overall.  The duo was getting older and the age of the screwball comedy had pretty much passed.  In fact, this entire movie, despite being quite entertaining, feels like something one would see from a decade prior.  Along with going back to the well frequently to parody the old monster films it was clear by this point that everyone involved was just phoning it in.  Pete Patterson (Bud Abbott) and Freddie Franklin (Lou Costello) are two Americans living in Egypt.  They overhear a conversation with a Dr. Zoomer (Kurt Katch) that he has found the legendary mummy Klaris (Eddie Parker) and needs help transporting him back to the United States.  The doctor has also found a medallion on Klaris that would lead him to a treasure trove.  The problem is that Klaris is still alive and is worshipped by a cult led by Semu (Richard Deacon) who sends his henc...

Diminishing returns on the movies where Abbott and Costello meet different Universal monsters was a given.  After all, by the time Abbott and Costello Meet Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde  was made the duo had made over 25 films for Universal and were obviously trying to wind things down.  Most of the jokes had become routine.  However, if one thing had been learned from Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein , it was that the horror elements must balance out the comedic.   There is a monster on the loose in London who is killing random people.  Reporter Bruce Adams (Craig Stevens) is trying to get the scoop.  While doing so he meets a beautiful suffragette named Vicky (Helen Westcott) who is also a performer in a music hall.  Vicky happens to be the ward of Dr. Jekyll (Boris Karloff) who, along with his assistant Batley (John Dierkes), is experimenting with bringing out the different sides of human beings.  He secretly wishes to marry Vicky and ...

At the end of Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein  there is a throwaway joke where they meet the Invisible Man, voiced by an uncredited Vincent Price.  He had previously played the role in The Invisible Man Returns   and the scene hinted at which direction the next Abbott and Costello movie would go.  Instead, they went for more of a whodunnit with Bud Abbott and Lou Costello Meet the Killer, Boris Karloff  and then produced a number of more typical comedies with the duo.  However, when they did get back to meeting the Universal monsters, it was the Invisible Man that came next.  Like Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein being a direct sequel to the previous monster films this is also a continuance of the original The Invisible Man   from 1933.  Bud Alexander (Bud Abbott) and Lou Francis (Lou Costello) have just graduated from detective school and are eager to get their first case.  That comes in the form of boxer Tommy Nelson (Arthur...

Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein , despite Bud Abbott's reservations, turned out to be a grand success.  It brought back Lon Chaney Jr. as Lawrence Talbot, aka the Wolf Man, as well as Bela Lugosi as Dracula.  It also managed to give all three of the most popular Universal monsters a proper ending rather than the silly films they had turned into.  Ironically, they did this while being intentionally funny. The one thing that was missing was Boris Karloff.  Glenn Strange, who had played the Monster in House of Dracula and House of Frankenstein , returned as the creature.  Meanwhile, Karloff agreed to promote the film as long as he was not forced to watch it, which is a shame because it is one of the best old-time horror comedies made.  Seeing that formula was successful he agreed to a bit part in the next one which, though only having some horror elements on the surface, still was quite entertaining. Freddie Phillips (Lou Costello) is a bellhop at a pre...

After finding out a little more about this somewhat forgotten '90s horror flick I find it hard to have a solid opinion.  The reason is that, like so many similar movies, the film that is available is little more than a shadow of what it was supposed to be.  Of the 112 minutes that director David Nutter intended only 84 ever reached the screen and MGM, the studio and distributor, has never allowed the original cut to be released despite the fact that it exists.  Many films, especially the Friday the 13th  films, have had large swaths sliced out of them to avoid dreaded X or NC-17 ratings, but Disturbing Behavior is one of those in which the studio just grabbed it and cut it into a barely comprehensive mess. Steve Clark (James Marsden) and his family move to the small town of Cradle Bay after his older brother Allen (Ethan Embry) commits suicide.  Steve soon befriends a couple of stoners named Gavin (Nick Stahl) and U.V. (Chad Donella) and becomes attracted to a g...

By the late 1940s the Universal horror films had turned from artful, stylish gothic horror to little more than cheap b-movies.  It appeared that things may get back on track with The Wolf Man .  However, despite that movie's success, it never received a proper sequel.  While the subsequent movies featuring Lon Chaney Jr. as Lawrence Talbot were fun they concentrated on what kids wanted to see, which was Frankenstein's monster and Dracula duking it out with our hairy-handed gent.  That is among the reasons that Bud Abbott was not too happy when presented with the script for Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein .  At the time the team of him and Lou Costello was one of the biggest comedy acts around, with a number of hit films, not to mention popularity on radio and live shows.  What sold Abbott on it was a big paycheck and a director, Charles Barton, that had frequently worked with the duo in the past.  Little did they know it would become one of the b...

Video games do not typically make for prestige movies.  There have been some impressive adaptations - the recent Fallout television series being an example - but for the most part these franchises have rightfully gone to schlock directors as the studios, both on the movie and video game side, were more interested in making a quick buck.  Notably, the original Resident Evil movie was handled by Paul W.S. Anderson, a director who built most of his career on the cult film Event Horizon .  His movies are usually good looking but hollow, and the original Resident Evil series played more like a vanity project for his wife Milla Jovovich.  Despite this I found most of that series to be quite entertaining, particularly Resident Evil: Extinction  which brought in another classic b-movie director, Russell Mulcahy.   Despite the worldwide phenomena that the video game series is I have never played Resident Evil or any of its sequels, spinoffs or reboots.  T...

It is such a typical Hollywood ego trip that screenwriters would think that the Biblical apocalypse - complete with the apocryphal Rapture - would occur in Los Angeles.  That is probably a good part of the joke that Seth Rogan and Evan Goldberg were trying to make with This Is the End .  They co-directed and co-wrote, along with Jason Stone, a scenario in which a number of Hollywood celebrities get caught up in the chaos of the end times and, in typical Hollywood fashion, make it all about themselves.  Jay Baruchel comes to Los Angeles to meet his friend Seth Rogen and hang out for a weekend.  Against his better judgment he lets Rogen talk him into going to a party thrown by James Franco.  As Baruchel doesn't really like Franco, Jonah Hill or many of the guests he becomes uncomfortable and starts talking about going back to Rogen's house on his own.  While at a convenience store the earth suddenly shakes and several people are lifted into heaven by blue lig...

I am quite vocal about my dislike of modern comedies.  I have a few exceptions but, by and large, comedy died around 2000.  I would like to say it has nothing to do with political correctness but, in a way, it does.  Directors like the Farelly Brothers went out of their way to rebel against PC trends of the time, reveling in being offensive.  It worked briefly with movies like Dumb and Dumber and There's Something About Mary , but eventually it became routine.  Most comedies since have tried to wring humor from old playground jokes. It should be no surprise that, given my general enjoyment of the movies I review on this site, that most modern comedy I like combines elements from other genres.  That brings me to Pineapple Express , a stoner comedy from Seth Rogen and Judd Apatow.  In some ways it plays a bit like Up in Smoke , with two not-so-bright potheads stumbling through different situations, combined with the good old trope of the main characters ...