Don't Open Till Christmas (1984)


Dick Randall was an exploitation producer who is not as well known as Herschell Gordon Lewis or Roger Corman.  The reason is that, although he was often successful and his films made money, he was said to often be one step ahead of either the mafia or the taxman.  Either way, that meant he spent a lot of his career outside the U.S., which is why an American producer ended up making a British film.

For Don't Open Till Christmas Randall picked up Edmund Purdom, an actor who had appeared in major productions in the 1950s and since had been making appearances in Italian productions.  Purdom decided he wanted to direct the movie and Randall, happy to have a name attached that might bring the film some prestige, agreed.  The problem was he didn't check to see if Purdom could direct, something that he proved not too competent at.  He also at some point became bored with the film and left during production.  The result is Derek Ford, one of the two screenwriters, was brought in to direct for two days, before being fired for showing up drunk to the set.  Over the next two years the other writer, Alan Birkinshaw, and editor Ray Selfe directed the remainder before assembling it and releasing it at the same time as another Christmas horror film, Silent Night, Deadly Night.

As Christmas approaches the Soho area of London is being plagued by a number of killings.  A masked killer is murdering anyone dressed as Santa Claus.  When Kate Briosky's (Belinda Mayne) father is killed at a party Scotland Yard becomes involved, with Chief Inspector Harris (Purdom) leading the investigation along with Detective Sergeant Powell (Mark Ford).  Powell soon starts getting tips from a sketch journalist named Giles (Alan Lake) that leads him to believe that Harris may know more than he's saying.  Kate feels the same way and begins feigning romantic feelings to get more information, much to the chagrin of her boyfriend Cliff (Gerry Sundquist). 

Despite Harris's best efforts the killings continue, and as the killer becomes bolder he starts expanding his victims to include an exotic dancer (Kelly Baker) and those pursuing him.  Harris is soon forced off the case, although Kate is determined to find her father's killer on her own. 

This is advertised these days as being from the producers of Pieces, which is appropriate.  That movie was a grand mess as well.  I also didn't care for it as much as a lot of horror fans do because of that, but the one thing Pieces had going for it is that it didn't drag.  It made no sense, but at least things happened.  Don't Open Till Christmas has a number of kills, often with some good makeup work, but it often drags.  There are no characters to latch on to, the motivation of the killer is dull and predictable, and most of the kills are random victims that we, as the audience, have no connection with.  It's no surprise this was ignored when it came out and didn't cause any of the controversy that Silent Night, Deadly Night did. 

Purdom shot a good portion of the film so he is mostly to blame.  I don't know if anything that Ford directed made it in, as he isn't credited, but Birkinshaw and Selfe are under a pseudonym.  Their work is noticeable because it is of higher quality and includes a chase through the London Dungeon, the whole subplot that includes Alan Lake and Kelly Baker and one of the kills interrupting a performance by Caroline Munro.  They also stand out because they are some of the few scenes in the movie with any tension or payoff.  

Still, this is not worth watching for those scenes.  In fact, I would go as far as saying this is not worth watching at all.  I know this has become a cult classic, but there is nothing entertaining about it, not even to watch for a laugh.  When it's not plagued with incompetent directing it is a dull, slow slog through a number of slasher cliches and not worth the time or effort to get to the little good there is. 

Don't Open Till Christmas (1984)
Time: 86 minutes
Starring: Edmund Purdom, Belinda Maynes, Gerry Sundquist, Mark Ford, Alan Lake, Kelly Baker
Directors: Edmund Purdom, Derek Ford, Alan Birkinshaw, Ray Selfe



 

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