V/H/S (2012)

At the time this came out there was a ton of hype, particularly from the website Bloody Disgusting.  That's not surprising as the site's owner, Brad Miska, is one of the producers on this and responsible for the concept.  It was the first found-footage horror anthology, and he was able to get directors like Ti West and Adam Wingard attached to it, giving the whole thing some credibility. 

Although I quite enjoyed it at the time I understand why many critics, and horror fans, had some major issues with this movie.  Part of it is why I can barely watch 2013's Evil Dead: I hate most of the characters.  From segment to segment we are introduced to a bevy of unlikable people, many of whom are guys with a frat mentality as well as the group from the wraparound segment that straight up sexually assault a woman to get views to their site.  This type of behavior, unfortunately, was rife at the time that V/H/S was released, although it was usually teenagers doing a lot of it.  The concern with many viewers was that V/H/S tacitly supported this type of behavior despite the fact that everyone pretty much gets their come-uppance.  Many of the stories were also criticized for "gyno-phobia," which is still a criticism I will dispute since it only can arguably said to show up in Ti West's segment.

My other major criticism after seeing it again is the length.  This movie runs close to two hours and every single segment has a bunch of padding where nothing at all happens.  It doesn't set up story, doesn't set up character, but is just walking or driving or talking about trying on hats.  Many of these segments could have been over in 10 minutes or less, but unfortunately the directors thought we wanted to spend more time being reminded of why Millennials got such a bad reputation in the 2010s. 

Gary (Calvin Lee Reeder), Zak (Lane Hughes) and Brad (Adam Wingard) go around destroying property and assaulting innocent people for internet views.  Brad, however, has been contacted by someone that wants them to steal a video tape from an old man (Frank Stack), and is willing to pay for it.  While searching the man's house they find a bank of televisions and numerous tapes and begin watching them.  The first is called "Amateur Hour", and features Shane (Mike Donlan), Patrick (Joe Sykes) and Clint (Drew Sawyer), the latter which has been given glasses with a video camera.  The goal is to pick up a woman and film an amateur porn video.  One of the women, Lily (Hannah Fierman) takes a liking to Clint, but that may not be a good thing.

Next is "Second Honeymoon", featuring Sam (Joe Swanberg) and Stephanie (Sophia Takal) as a couple on a road trip that is suddenly interrupted by an uninvited guest.  "Tuesday the 17th" is about a girl named Wendy (Norma C. Quinones) taking her friends to a campsite near a lake where a number of unsolved murders occurred, and where the killer may still lurk.  In "The Sick Thing That Happened to Emily When She Was Younger", the titular Emily (Helen Rogers) becomes more and more concerned that her new apartment may be haunted.  In the last segment a group of friends experience a truly haunted house when they show up for the wrong place for a Halloween party in "10 / 31 / 98".  

Ti West is the biggest name here, having written and directed The House of the Devil, a critically acclaimed throwback to old-school horror films.  Sadley, his segment, "Second Honeymoon", is the worst, as nothing interesting happens for close to the span of 20 minutes, culminating in a climax that makes absolutely no sense.  It doesn't help that the couple we focus on is no more interesting or bearable than anyone else in the movie, with a drawn-out sequence of Sam trying to pressure Stephanie into letting him film them having sex.  This seems to be a constant throughout a good amount of the film, as even in the best segment, "Amateur Hour", it's pretty clear that the guys are not planning on telling the lady they film what their goals are.  It's as if the entire idea of consent was alien on whatever version of Earth this was filmed.

Unlike most people I didn't hate "Tuesday the 17th", largely because I found the killer in it to be an interesting concept.  "10 / 31 / 98", which strangely comes after the wraparound story has finished, offers up some real scares.  However, even the best segments have the same general problem: long, drawn-out periods of nothing.  The only linking characteristic is that these are people that I want to die before I hear one more inane word come out of their mouths.  Every guy is a douchebag, and the women barely have any role at all except occasionally as victims.  If this is someone's first introduction to a  horror film it confirms every bad stereotype that a non-fan would have.  

I may have also remembered this a bit more fondly simply because the second movie is everything this is not.  The segments are interesting, just the right length and it doesn't seem like a lot of unnecessary material was jammed in just to pad the length.  I would still say this is worth seeing for the best segments, but it is V/H/S/2 that sees this concept truly come to fruition.

V/H/S (2012)

Time: 116 minutes

Starring: Adam Wingard, Hannah Fierman, Frank Stack, Drew Sawyer, Joe Swanberg, Sophia Takal, Norma C. Quinones, Helen Rogers, Daniel Kaufman, Chad Villella, Matt Bettinelli-Olpin, Tyler Gillett, Paul Natonek, Nicole Erb

Directors: Adam Wingard, David Bruckner, Ti West, Glenn McQuaid, Joe Swanberg, Chad Villella, Matt Bettinelli-Olpin, Tyler Gillett, Justin Martinez